


The Way He Wears His Hair

by snarkyscorp



Category: Free!
Genre: First Kiss, First Meetings, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-26
Updated: 2015-01-26
Packaged: 2018-03-09 02:45:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3233351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snarkyscorp/pseuds/snarkyscorp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first kiss that Sousuke gave to Rin was against his hair, his lips hushed against a thick tuft he'd gathered, sliding it against his half-open mouth, a barely there confession of how long he had loved this boy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Way He Wears His Hair

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Day 1 of SouRin Week, with the prompts of Firsts (Rock) and First Time (Scissors). Thanks to [princessmatsuoka](http://princessmatsuoka.tumblr.com/) for writing gorgeous headcanons about how much Sousuke loves Rin's hair. That was my inspiration for this fic. Also thanks to A for the quick beta. :3

The first time he saw Rin, Sousuke knew there was something wrong with him. He looked at Rin, and he saw something he'd never seen before, felt things he couldn't understand, wanted things he couldn't define. He looked at Rin and grew strained and vulnerable and anxious and desperate, slouching just to look at him. Rin was something new to him, the kind of person he could see becoming a best friend or whatever was more than that, but it felt difficult to put into words what he wanted from him. In short, Rin disturbed the dust of his world, and the longer they knew each other, the more confused Sousuke felt about himself.

"Matsuouka Rin," he announced. "I know my name sounds like a girl's name, but I'm really a boy!" 

Sousuke rolled his eyes. This guy. 

"It's nice to meet you!" 

Sousuke mumbled a greeting with the rest of the class. He would have forgotten all about Rin if not for the fact that the kid squeezed in beside him in line-up. 

"Yamazaki-kun?" 

Sousuke eyed him. 

"Oi, don't look so suspicious!" 

"I'm not suspicious," Sousuke sulked, glaring aside. This guy's personality was already grating. 

"I just wondered if you swam butterfly. Your shoulders are really big!" 

Sousuke shrugged. "I can swim whatever I want." 

"Ohh? Me too! I like them all, so it's hard to pick just one. I want to be good enough for at least two styles. You _mainly_ do butterfly, though, right?" 

"I can swim whatever I want," Sousuke repeated coolly. Before Rin could bother him with any more distracting conversation, the coach called for them to get into the pool, and Sousuke was the first to jump in. 

** 

The first time he and Rin swam together, Sousuke knew he was different than the other boys on the team. The other boys swam and had fun and wanted to do well at it, sure, but Sousuke and Rin were on another wavelength entirely. Rin was above him, dreaming of the Olympics, and before long Sousuke was dreaming there beside him. Despite the friction in their relationship and countless differences between their outlooks on life, Rin somehow managed to get Sousuke to his house more often than not, and soon, he was a regular at the Matsuoka home. They spent hours laying outside the swimming complex, watching the clouds roll across the sky, talking or just listening to the air and cicadas and soft sounds of summer. 

Rin talked to everyone, was outgoing where Sousuke was reserved, and they were so competitive with one another that most of their conversations ended in one argument or another. But Sousuke came to privately appreciate Rin's presence and the way he motivated him without even trying. He liked to think it went both ways, but the truth was that Rin was just that way when he was passionate about something, and...Sousuke liked to watch him be passionate. His spirit was like the color of his hair: vibrant. It was impossible that something like that wouldn't be contagious. 

In the evenings after swim club, they'd walk home together, Rin doing most of the talking. One particularly rainy night, Rin reached for Sousuke's hand before they crossed a dark street. Sousuke knew it was only so he would hurry and follow him before the light changed, but he squeezed Rin's fingers for as long as he could anyway, flushed and excited with his stomach tied in knots. 

That same night was the first time Sousuke realized he was in love. The flash of Rin's hair, wet in the dim street light, the squeeze of his hand, the sound of his voice. It didn't make sense to him at the time, what all that meant; Sousuke just wanted to spend as much time with Rin as possible, to be his friend, to be whatever came after that. 

** 

The first time he touched Rin's hair, it was to pick a piece of fuzz from it the next day at swim club. They were standing in the lineup, listening to their coach, but all Sousuke could focus on was that little bit of gray lint marring Rin's beautiful red hair. He restrained himself for as long as he could, knowing it would be weird if he touched Rin like that in front of everyone, chastising himself before he even lifted his hand, but eventually, the anxiety of seeing that tiny fuzz worked him up so badly that he reached up and plucked it from Rin's hair as gently as possible. 

Rin flinched, which made Sousuke flinch in turn. Rin glanced sidelong at Sousuke, one brow lifted as he touched the place where the fuzz had been. 

"Oi, Sousuke-kun, what was that for?" 

Sousuke looked down at his feet, shrugged. "You had something in your hair." 

Rin felt at the place where Sousuke had touched, fingering through the long strands of hair thoughtfully. "Oh." Then, he beamed cheekily at Sousuke. "Thanks!" 

Moments later, they were in the pool. All Sousuke could concentrate on was how good it felt to get his hands on Rin. To run fingers through his hair. The smell of it faded as practice wore on, until Sousuke couldn't remember if it was a lime sort of scent or lemon. 

After practice, when they were the last two in the locker rooms, he reached up and gently stroked a piece of Rin's hair toward the back of his neck, fascinated by the goosebumps he saw bubbling up all over Rin's skin. 

Rin laughed. "Now you're just being weird," he said. 

"Your hair is really soft," Sousuke blurted. He removed his hand, and they stared at one another for a moment or two in silence, awkwardly, before he added, "Do you mind if I touch it?" 

"Hm," Rin mused, obviously thinking it over as his expression turned to the ceiling. Sousuke began to sweat as he waited for a reply, imagining all the worst things that Rin could say to him for that kind of thing. Maybe he wouldn't want to be his friend anymore. Maybe he would hate him for being so forward. Finally, Rin said, "I guess not. It kind of feels nice." 

Sousuke reached up again, relieved, as he stroked the same piece of hair with reverence. 

"Oi, don't do it so often though!" Rin argued, swatting Sousuke's hand away. "Come on. We're going to be late." 

As they left the locker room, Sousuke caught sight of Rin touching the same strand he had been playing with, a bit of pink on the backs of his ears. 

** 

The first time they fought -- not just a brief argument but a real _fight_ \-- Sousuke thought he might die. The feelings and pain swirling in his chest burned like fire, tightened up so tight that he felt like he was a bottle of carbonated water being shaken around, ready to explode. He wanted to puke, he wanted to scream, he wanted to pound his fists into the walls and leave holes in his wake through the plaster. Rin worked him up, and there was no way he was backing down about this thing. 

The worst part was: it was Sousuke's own fault. He'd yelled at Rin, told him they couldn't be friends anymore. The look on Rin's face as he blurted all the most terrible and untrue things terrified him. That perfect mix of innocence and annoyance; Rin was just angry that Sousuke was angry, so they didn't talk for two days. Even in the pool, they barely glanced at one another. Silently, Sousuke fumed, cursing Rin in his head but ignoring him every time they saw one another. He wouldn't be the one to break down, not about something this important; it's not like he'd pick a fight over just anything. And anyway, he really was angry at Rin. And hurt. And flustered by the pain. 

Finally, Rin approached him in the locker room. 

"What's wrong with you?" he snapped. 

Sousuke didn't dare look at him; he knew he'd see tears in his friend's eyes. 

"Hey, I'm talking to you! What the hell is going on with you? Why are you mad at me?" Rin reached out, shook Sousuke, and slammed him into the lockers. He sniffled through his words, the sound of them wet and hoarse: "Why don't you want to be my friend anymore? Why do you hate me, Sousuke-kun?" 

It's the pitch of his voice that got to Sousuke. He glared down between them, feeling numb, and muttered something that was barely coherent. 

"Eh?" Rin persisted. 

" _I just don't want you to cut your hair_!" Sousuke shouted. His words rang clumsily through the empty room, bouncing off the lockers in an echo that made him feel sick. As his face burned with embarrassment, his fists tightened at his sides. "I just like it. And I'm going to miss it. And I don't want you to cut it. It pisses me off that you want to cut it, that you don't know how beautiful it looks." 

He refused to look up, because he knew he'd see Rin crying or Rin angry or Rin hating him or Rin judging him. Sousuke knew it was stupid, but if Rin cut his hair, then he wouldn't be able to play with it anymore, stroke it casually to elicit a laugh from Rin between practice laps, sniff it and pretend it was a joke when really it smelled like Rin and Sousuke just wanted to hold onto that scent as long as he could. 

If Rin cut his hair, everything would change. 

Sousuke refused to look up, because he knew he would be rejected. 

"Idiot," Rin said, punching Sousuke's shoulder so hard it went momentarily numb. "Why didn't you just say so? How long do you like it? The length it is now or should I grow it out more?" 

As Rin babbled about the choices he had for haircuts, length and style and even color, Sousuke finally lifted his gaze. He rubbed his shoulder where Rin had hit him, smiled in a way that made his face hurt, and then punched Rin back so hard that Rin fell back a step. 

"It's perfect how it is," Sousuke said, laughing. 

Rin beamed in return, sharp teeth catching the light. "Okay. I'll keep it this length for you, then. As long as you don't ignore me anymore, dumbass." 

** 

The first time he had to say goodbye to Rin, Sousuke knew his life would never be the same. It wasn't a shock, not really, and Sousuke would never hold Rin back from his dreams...but he still felt hollow the second Rin wasn't by his side anymore. He watched Rin leave, and felt a hole open up inside him and spread like disease. For weeks, he didn't know what to do with himself. Without Rin, it was like he was only half a person. And though he checked every day for letters, even if Rin had sent something it wouldn't have made the sting of it any less. 

By the time the first letter came, Sousuke knew things were more different now than they'd ever been. It wasn't like he expected or even wanted to do every single thing with Rin, but when he swam without him in the next lane, it wasn't difficult. There was no challenge. And no one else understood him in the way that Rin did. No one invited him to their house, no one laid out below the stars: no one was Rin, and no one ever would be. 

It hurt like fire to the touch, like the slap of wind against his cheeks tingling long after the winter breeze had passed, like the first time he felt pain in his shoulder and thought maybe he should slow down but didn't, like when it really hurt and he hid in the showers at the locker room because he was afraid he'd broken himself and he'd never get to see or race Rin again. 

Then, suddenly, it was too late to worry about the pain: there was nothing left but to follow Rin to the ends of the earth to try and find a slice of happiness in the world that had grown dismal without him. 

Sousuke didn't tell Rin he was going to Samezuka Academy. There wouldn't be a warning for this storm; suddenly, it would be raining and Rin would need to reach for his hand once more. 

** 

The first time Sousuke kissed Rin, they were drinking. Rin's face kept getting redder and redder, and though the alcohol wasn't affecting Sousuke in the same way, he pretended that it was, because seeing Rin like this… 

It did things to him. 

Rooming with the guy, Sousuke had learned even more about Rin's particular habits, annoyances, and traits. All the little things that used to piss him off when they were kids had only gotten worse. Rin was a princess about keeping the room spotless - one notebook out of order and he lost his shit. He was fanatical about protein and greens to keep his body in shape. He was even more fanatical about shaving. The little things drove Sousuke crazy, not just because they annoyed him but because he liked being able to know such intimate details like what brand of razor Rin preferred or what time of day he went for a jog. 

He also learned that Rin had absolutely no tolerance for alcohol. The guy was a saint when it came to drinking and drugs, and he'd barely touched a tumbler of sake before Sousuke got to him. Sousuke understood; training to be an Olympic athlete, Rin couldn't afford mistakes like gaining weight, getting high, or showing up to practice drunk. Anyway, he was Samezuka's captain, so he had to be the good altar boy. 

Still, it was fun to provoke him every now and then, on a night when they had some time to themselves, and watch Rin descend into normalcy. Into crude language and cruder grins that left Sousuke's mouth watering. 

It got to the point that when he started touching Rin's hair, curling it around his fingers and gently nudging tangles out as he went, the electricity between them was too much for Sousuke to bear. They were sitting on the floor beside the bunks on a mat, just relaxing. It was while Rin was telling some story or another about one of the other swimmers whose name Sousuke hadn't bothered to learn - some first year with limited potential - that Sousuke realized he'd been touching Rin's hair for the past twenty minutes, braiding and unbraiding, twisting and curling, tugging and combing, and Rin had not only not moved away but had turned to give Sousuke access. 

The first kiss that Sousuke gave to Rin was against his hair, his lips hushed against a thick tuft he'd gathered, sliding it against his half-open mouth, a barely there confession of how long he had loved this boy. 

Rin went still, his story paused mid-sentence, and Sousuke wished to God he had a mirror so he could see the look on Rin's face right now. Was it bad? Was it...good? When Rin didn't say anything, Sousuke felt the swell of the alcohol he'd consumed warm his courage; he leaned in, brushed Rin's hair aside, and kissed the place where his shoulder and neck curved into one another. Combing through the hair at the nape of his neck, he felt goosebumps under his fingers, so he just kept kissing until there wasn't an inch of Rin's neck he hadn't touched with his mouth. 

Then, he began to add his tongue, open-mouthed meanderings as he tried to memorize the taste, which only pulled him back in time to that first scent: _lime_. It was still lime. 

"S-ousuke," Rin hiccupped. 

His voice sounded very, very far away, so Sousuke just let it fade. He wouldn't have been able to handle it if that was a signal for 'stop' or 'don't'. In such a state, worked up as he was, he wasn't sure he'd be able to stop himself. So until he heard otherwise, he just kept going, following the lines of Rin's veins, around to the back of his neck where his fingers lifted the hair he loved so much so he could lay his lips and tongue to his nape, taste Rin's goosebumps. 

To his shock, Rin bowed his head. Just a centimeter or so, then another, then lower and lower until Sousuke was straining to keep contact against his skin. Worse, he wanted _more_. He wanted to touch Rin's body, to kiss him like this _everywhere_ , to see the look on Rin's face when he kissed down there against the shaved smooth skin above his length. The urge to kiss his way down Rin's flat belly, to wind up with his mouth full of Rin's cock, was suddenly too great to push aside. 

Sousuke reached around Rin with his free hand, sliding it down the outside of his thigh, towards the hot space between his legs. 

Suddenly, Rin slumped to the side, his descent somewhat jerky, until his face finally nudged against the side of his mattress. Sousuke lifted both hands away slowly, eyeing Rin for a moment in worry before he realized -- the asshole had fallen asleep. 

With a sigh, he scooted away, composing himself for a long while as he watched Rin's curled spine rise and fall with each deep breath. 

"Idiot," he murmured, realizing only belatedly that Rin must be a tired drunk. He got to his feet and looked down at the sad excuse for a team captain that Rin made in such a state. And yet, despite the annoyance of not being able to go further, to kiss Rin's mouth or anywhere else, Sousuke found himself just as in love as ever. If not more. " _Idiot_ ," he repeated, a little more fondly, as he dragged a blanket over Rin, stroked his fingers once through the mess of red hair that cascaded over his face and shielded his expression, and then left to relieve himself in the restroom down the hall. 

** 

The first time Sousuke _really_ kissed Rin, they were right in the middle of a fight. 

As most of their fights went, it was over something stupid. Rin had told Sousuke that the most difficult style of swimming was free, while Sousuke knew without a doubt that every position was difficult but that butterfly put the most stress on your body. He would know; after all, working so hard at that damn position had ripped his shoulder apart. Not that he could admit that to Rin, but the argument had riled him up so badly that he started shouting, which caused Rin to start shouting, and before Sousuke knew what he'd done, his hand was tangled in Rin's hair and he'd crashed their mouths together. 

The kiss was brief. Sousuke ended it only a few seconds after it began, prying his mouth off of Rin's with a delicate sort of hesitation. He didn't want to pull back; he wanted to keep going, to shut Rin up for an hour like that, to see what he tasted like deep in his mouth. A string of saliva connected them before it snapped, severing the moment. Sousuke's nostrils flared as he tried to focus, to keep his hands from wandering down Rin's body and claiming him. 

Looking at one another, Sousuke was the first to lose the staring match, and it didn't even take long. He couldn't stomach the look on Rin's face. Obviously, this was going to be the end of everything. The end of _them_. He was just about to pull away entirely when he heard Rin's voice cut through the tense silence: 

"Why'd you stop?" 

Sousuke's gaze snapped back down to Rin's, and the sight of him, red-faced but bold in his expression, took his breath away all over again. 

"I don't know," Sousuke said, finding it incredibly difficult to get the words out from his tight, dry throat, but finding that was equally impossible to remain silent or lie. 

Rin was quiet, but eventually, he grinned, leaning back against the wall to fix Sousuke with a challenging expression. "Well then, what's stopping you now?" Rin reached up, his hand at Sousuke's neck. "I like it." 

_I like it._

Sousuke felt dizzy. 

_I like it._

I like it. 

I like it. 

It wasn't disgusting or stupid or annoying. Rin wasn't angry or insulted or bothered by his advance. Rin _liked_ it. Rin wondered why he stopped. Rin wasn't running away or pulling back or shoving Sousuke and calling him names: Rin was waiting for him to continue. Was asking him to continue. 

There were no words, so Sousuke didn't bother with them. Instead, he dove back in like it was a race to see how fast he could get to Rin's mouth. Clumsily, their teeth knocked, and he heard Rin laugh somewhere between that moment and when Sousuke's tongue effectively shut him up again. 

From there, time stopped. Sousuke wasn't sure how long the first kiss lasted, but he would have preferred that it never ended. 

** 

The first time they had sex, it was volatile and electric. Sousuke had always assumed his first time might not be as sweet as what most people imagined; he was too emotional and too rough to temper himself during that kind of moment. And imagining his first time with Rin was always worse, because sometimes, as badly as he wanted to kiss Rin and slowly slide into him, he also wanted to pin him, hold him, fuck him. 

So it wasn't surprising when it, like their first kiss, happened in the middle of a fight. It was an old, stupid fight, something that Sousuke knew Rin only brought up when he thought it would win him an argument. Sousuke got so bent out of shape by his words that it lit a fire in him that he didn't know how to put out. 

The fight was…about his hair. 

"I don't care," Rin snapped, getting in Sousuke's face. "You may like it, but it's getting in my way, and I don't want to lose a fucking race because hair got caught in my goggles!" 

"Don't," Sousuke snarled, his heart pounding. "You're a fucking idiot, you know that?" 

"Ahh?! It's _my_ hair! I can cut it if I want, and there's not a damn thing you can do to stop me, Yamazaki." 

The low blow was the use of his surname. It bit into Sousuke and grated its way right under his skin. 

"I've kept it this long for you all this time, so let me make a decision for once, geez! This is my future! You can't just demand everything from me and not let me--" 

Sousuke didn't let Rin get anything else out. Whatever he may have wanted to say, whatever threats he had about the one thing Sousuke asked of him after all these years, he wouldn't let those words reach the air. Instead, Sousuke reached out, grabbed a handful of the hair he loved so much and yanked it as hard as he could, hauling Rin back towards the wall of their dorm room until only his hand cradled Rin's head from hitting it. Pinning Rin still, Sousuke stopped his words with a kiss. He bit his way into Rin's mouth hard enough to leave Rin's lips swollen from the abuse after just seconds, and he threatened to bite harder, to snap through and draw blood, but before he could get that far, Rin snapped back. 

It wasn't long before their mouths were a jumble of rough teeth and furious tongues, each one fighting to dominate the kiss, to come out on top of this silent argument somehow. Sousuke finally broke the kiss, but it was briefly, as he bit his way down Rin's neck, words muffled to his skin. 

"You kept it like this, all this time, for me?" Sousuke asked, his fingers tugging harder in Rin's hair so he could get Rin's head at an angle that was better for kissing and leaving marks against his pale skin. 

Rin looked away, grumbling, "Yeah, well, you said you liked it this length, and you always played with it, so--- _ahh_..!" He gasped when Sousuke's teeth sank in, and both of Rin's hands clawed at Sousuke's jacket. "Off," he panted. "Want your clothes _off_." 

For once, Sousuke followed one of Rin's orders, sliding his mouth off and feeling heated when he saw the love-bite he'd already left on Rin's neck. He shrugged his jacket off, letting it fall, and then on impulse peeled his shirt off too. It wasn't as surprising as it was exciting to see Rin doing the same in front of him. Their eyes roamed each other's bodies as they undressed, as if they'd never seen one another shirtless before. As if Sousuke hadn't spent the past few months stealing whatever furtive glances he could in the showers, mapping the lines of Rin's body he'd never been allowed to see before. 

Neither of them moved onto their pants yet, as if that was the next frontier to take this relationship past the point of no return. 

The silence finally got to Sousuke, and he blurted, "I just want my cock inside you." The words were coarse and filthy, and he felt somewhat embarrassed admitting them, but they were nevertheless undeniably true. 

"Don't," Rin snapped, shoving at him angrily. He was breathing heavy, and the look on his face was unlike anything Sousuke had ever seen. The emotions rushing over him rushed through Sousuke too, like they were caught in a tidal wave with no hope of swimming out safely. "Don't...say it like that, so bluntly! _Idiot_!" 

"Why not?" he cooed, reaching up to take Rin's hair in his fist again. "You obviously like it." 

Rin's face was so red by now that it nearly matched the color of his hair. He looked like he might catch fire at any moment, and it was a fire Sousuke never wanted to put out. 

"Shut up!" 

Sousuke grinned, his low eyes drowsy with lust. "Make me." 

Their lips met in another clash, and suddenly they were clawing at one another's bodies, unzipping and tugging clothes until they were both completely nude. Sousuke couldn't keep his hands off Rin, groping everywhere he could reach and then stretching to get to the places he couldn't naturally. He found Rin's ass, squeezed each cheek in his hands, and then spread them, swiping a dry thumb across Rin's tight, furrowed hole. With a grunt, he thrust his cock against Rin's thigh so hard that when their bodies knocked into the wall with the motion, a few pens shook their way off the desk beside them. 

"E-easy," Rin groaned, panting as Sousuke ran his thumb over the spot a few more times. "Out-side." It was like Rin couldn't even talk at that point. "They'll--hear." 

"Fuck them," Sousuke snarled. He might take that back when he's sane later, because it wouldn't be good for anyone to know Rin was like this with him, but for that moment, all he cared about was Rin's body and the passion between them. "You'll just have to be quiet for me." 

"Sousuke!!" 

"You're not doing a very good job already," Sousuke teased. And then, he sank to his knees in front of Rin and pressed his mouth to the head of his cock. 

"O-oi!!" Rin gasped, hands clawing at Sousuke's hair and face, forcibly pushing him back. He looked so embarrassed. "You can't---put your mouth there." 

"Why not?" 

Rin scoffed. "I don't think I need to explain that kind of thing!" 

Sousuke chuckled, batting Rin's hands away a few times until he had them pinned to the wall. Sousuke leaned in, spoke against the arch of Rin's length, his words vibrating. " _That kind of thing_ is exactly what I want to do. Didn't you hear me earlier? I said I wanted to put my cock inside you." 

"Don't say it again!" 

"I'm going to say it until you understand. I want to suck your cock. And then I want to put my cock inside of you back there. And I want you to let me come inside your body. And I want to watch you when you orgasm and then lick it off your body when you're done." 

Rin panted, the sound of it raw in the small room. Sousuke could feel him shaking, and for a second, he thought maybe he'd gone too far. It was all true, but maybe Rin wanted to take things slower. Maybe-- 

"Who says _you_ get to top, anyway?" Rin asked, gaze flitting aside. 

Sousuke laughed, warmly kissing Rin's thigh. "Is that what you're worried about? Fine, we can switch. After I'm done, you can go inside me." 

Rin shuddered, and Sousuke blinked at the sight of pre-come slithering out in a glob from the tip. He looked from the obvious evidence of Rin's arousal to Rin himself, the screwed up expression on his face and the glint of emotion wet in his eyes. _Please don't cry_ , he thought. _Please don't cry, Rin._

"You'd really---let me---inside you?" Rin babbled, voice mangled between hiccups. 

"I'd let you do whatever you wanted to me, Rin. I'd let you do _everything_ to me." With that, he swallowed Rin in, finally releasing Rin's hands when he was sure the guy wasn't going to shove at him anymore. 

"...fuck." 

It was Sousuke's first time with this sort of thing, but he was glad he'd waited and saved it for Rin. If he'd been some kind of cock-sucking expert, he was sure it wouldn't be the same kind of experience between them. As it stood, Sousuke wanted to remember this moment forever; the moment when Matsuoka Rin, stubborn crybaby bastard that he was, let Sousuke in. The moment their relationship changed forever, but Sousuke wanted the change for the first time in his life. 

It didn't take long before Rin started thrusting in sharp little jerks into Sousuke's mouth, and for a moment, Sousuke thought maybe he'd let Rin come like this, swallow whatever came out, then kiss him to let him taste it, but he couldn't slake the desire in him to be inside Rin for his first orgasm with him. 

So he gently pulled back, swiping his tongue one last time over the damp head of Rin's cock to lick up whatever had come out since he'd moved his mouth. Looking up, he saw Rin looking down. His face was still red, but there was a determined look on his face, along with a tangle of other emotions Sousuke couldn't quite differentiate between. It made Rin look torn, like he might cry or scream, Sousuke wasn't really sure which. 

The expression was so beautiful that Sousuke was distracted enough that the silent moment dragged on between them. 

"Don't...look so smug," Rin complained, softly breaking the quiet. 

"I'm just happy," Sousuke said. "That's all." 

There was that look again. The trembling eyes. The wetness gathering to make them look a little more pink than red. Sousuke chuckled, getting to his feet and tugging Rin towards the bed. 

"Don't cry, idiot." 

"I'm not crying!" 

On the bed, Rin turned himself over, laid down flat on his stomach and with an expression like someone was looking at all his dirty laundry, cast a glance over his shoulder at Sousuke. 

"Be careful, okay? It's my...first." 

Sousuke's smile faded. Instantly, he was even harder than he'd been before, if that was even remotely possible. He had to grip himself to keep from spilling on Rin's ass. It was just… He'd assumed Rin was a virgin, but they'd never talked about that sort of thing, so Sousuke always wondered… Had Rin been saving this for him, too? Had Sousuke just never noticed? 

More importantly, this wasn't what Sousuke wanted. 

"Don't worry," Sousuke said. "It's mine too. Don't look so shocked. I've wanted it, like this, for as long as I can remember. But." He put his hands on Rin's shoulders, feeling them shaking softly beneath his touch, like Rin thought he was just going to shove in without warning at any moment. Massaging Rin warmly, he worked his hands down Rin's back, over his ass, his thighs, back up again. "Not like this." 

"Eh?" 

Gently, Sousuke helped roll Rin over so they were facing one another. He crawled up, crowding himself between Rin's thighs, forcing Rin to either lift his legs to let him in or suffer in an uncomfortable position. Eventually, Rin gave in, even though he looked like he might die from the embarrassment of having his body spread and bared like that. 

"I want to see you when I push in for the first time. I want you to see me. And like I said, I want to see your face when you come." 

"S-Sousuke!" Rin covered his face with his hands, but before Sousuke could pull them away, Rin shoved at Sousuke's chest with them, revealing an expression that looked as much relieved as surprised. "Stop talking and just...put it in me," he blurted. Clearing his throat, he then added, "Or else I'll think you don't know how or something." 

The challenge set, Sousuke groaned and slid his lips over Rin's. As they kissed, he tried to figure out how best to do all this. It was their first time. They should be _careful_. He had a condom in his jeans, but it had been there for a while, and he was sort of embarrassed just to bring it out like that, and anyway, he wanted to feel Rin. Every ridge and suck of his body. He hoped it was okay to want him like that, that it was what Rin wanted to. 

But Rin wasn't the kind of guy who'd go along with anything he didn't want, Sousuke was sure of that much. 

So, when he pulled back from the kiss, he turned his head to lick his own finger, to drool spit onto it until it was wet enough that he thought it would have to do. He swiped it down between them, against Rin's hole, and was about to push in when Rin shoved something in his face instead. Pulling back, he blinked as his eyes focused on a packet of…. 

"Lube?" he asked, a bit amazed. Where had Rin even been keeping that?? And what did he use it for? 

"You can't just...put it in with your spit, idiot," he grumbled. His knee nudged against Sousuke's elbow, goading him on. "Oi, stop staring at me and do it already." 

It took only a second's hesitation before Sousuke lifted his fingers from Rin's hole and instead took the one-time use packet of lubrication. Ripping it, some immediately started leaking out, and Sousuke nearly panicked that he'd spill it all and ruin this for Rin. But there was enough on his fingers to start with, so he placed one back against Rin's hole and carefully pushed in. 

Rin groaned, head tipping back, cock throbbing against his hard stomach. It was such a beautiful sight. Erotic. Sousuke pushed in deeper, the lube easing the way like it was nothing at all, like Rin's hole was sucking him in. Sousuke's jaw went slack after a time, until his finger was all the way in. He twisted it a little, feeling around inside Rin, and then pulled it out, slid it back in to warm up his hole, getting used to how he felt inside. 

"Sh-it," Rin gasped. " _Sousuke_." 

Sousuke swallowed, his throat completely dry, and looked down, watching his own finger move in and out. In and out. All the way in until his knuckles brushed against Rin's body. He was so smooth, everywhere, even down there. Sousuke felt that dry mouth suddenly flood with saliva when he thought of putting his mouth there, on Rin's balls, the area between them and his hole. He was so distracted by his own thoughts that he didn't notice Rin reach up until it was too late, until half the packet of lube was dumped on his cock and Rin's hand was moving to coat it along the entire length. 

With a shout he tried to bite back but failed, Sousuke hunched over Rin, thrusting immediately into his hand. It would be easy, too easy, to come like this, just feeling Rin inside and being jerked off outside. Rin shoved his free hand over Sousuke's mouth, and Sousuke licked his palm just to be a brat. 

Was he really that loud, anyway? 

"Don't get too excited," Rin advised, his fingers settling at the base of Sousuke's cock, where he began to apply pressure, directing it lower, towards… 

Rin just… He looked like he _wanted_ … 

"I'm impatient," Rin admitted breathlessly, arching up so his mouth whispered against Sousuke's ear. "....Go inside me already. Please." 

Sousuke slid his finger out, groaned, and lifted Rin's legs by pushing against his thighs. With Rin guiding his length, the tip pressed against Rin's slickened hole. Sousuke could have lost it again, but he held out long enough, until Rin started to open up for him and Sousuke thrust a little, the head popping into Rin's tightness. 

He could have sobbed. It was so intense. Like nothing he'd ever felt in his life. Perfection. Fire. Everything. Hunched over more, his mouth found Rin's for a brutal, clumsy kiss, and Rin whimpered into it as Sousuke thrust deeper. Eventually, Rin's hands wound around Sousuke instead of guiding him, and Sousuke's instincts took over. He thrust in, deeper and deeper, until he couldn't go any further and he felt the pressure of Rin's warm body against his own heavy balls. 

Unbelievably close just from the first push in, Sousuke tried to hold out. Just a minute longer. It couldn't be over that quick. He wanted to feel Rin like this all night, wanted to make their first time last, wanted to go and go and go until they collapsed from exhaustion. 

Just then, he felt movement, a brush of skin, and he opened his eyes -- when had he closed them? - to see Rin, jerking himself off, unabashedly staring at him while he did so. Their eyes locked, and Sousuke's chest tightened. He thrust a little harder, pulled back a little more, and his jaw went slack again as he found a rhythm in the tightness of Rin's body. The bed began to whine beneath their weight, the legs squeaking against the floor every now and again, and that's when Rin startled to babble. 

"S-Sousuke---can't---need to---a-ah!" 

Suddenly, Rin was so tight around his cock that Sousuke saw stars. With a grunt, he spilled himself, unable to help coming with a quick jerk of his body and then using Rin's body to milk himself through the rest of his orgasm. He couldn't keep his eyes open through most of it, but when his vision finally focused again, he saw the evidence of Rin's own orgasm splattered across his stomach like a trail that begged Sousuke to follow. 

Resting his hands to either side of Rin's head on the mattress for support, Sousuke panted, watching Rin's face as he came down from his own orgasm. Had they come at the same time? It was funny that Sousuke had been so worried about coming so fast, when Rin was already right there with him. 

It made Sousuke smile in the aftermath of things. Maybe he shouldn't have been so worried. As quick as it seemed, the intensity of it still vibrated through him like electric jolts. Leaning down, he pressed his feelings into Rin's mouth, tenderly. 

The kiss lasted much, much longer than their first had, until Sousuke's cock had softened and slipped out of Rin's body. He sighed, still holding himself up over Rin, because the last thing he wanted to do was ruin this perfect moment by either smothering Rin or getting him dirty with the sweat slicked to Sousuke's body. 

The moment felt so tense, for a second, and then Sousuke laughed. "I didn't know you were such a pervert, Rin." 

"Me!! What about you? You're the one who said to be quiet because you didn't care about people overhearing!!" 

With a chuckle, Sousuke rolled off him, onto his back. "I guess I did." Breathing in, he glanced aside to Rin, his smile almost hesitant now. "Hey, Rin. What are you really going to do about your hair?" 

"Eh, my hair?" Rin sounded surprised, then he shrugged, letting out a heavy sigh. "Well, my boyfriend likes it, so I'll keep it this way for him." Rin grinned, his sharp teeth catching the light. "In other words, I'm never cutting it. Idiot." 

Sousuke stopped breathing. He swore he did. At least, his heart must have stopped beating. He felt cold and then overheated both at once, and he couldn't find his voice in the semi-darkness of the room. The bed was barely big enough for two people, but Sousuke didn't intend to lay beside Rin all night anyway. He'd much rather be on top of him again. Inside him. All over him. 

The word boyfriend just kept swirling through his head. He felt like he and Rin had switched bodies for a moment, because there was something stinging his eyes. 

"Boyfriend?" Sousuke asked. They hadn't discussed that after the first kiss. Or the second. Or the many, many that had come between. Sousuke didn't want to jump to any conclusions, didn't want to force Rin into a relationship if he wanted things casual, but he couldn't help that the idea of being Rin's boyfriend worked him up into arousal all over again. 

"Well, I think you're my boyfriend," Rin hummed. "Aren't you?" 

Sousuke climbed on top of Rin and laughed at the look Rin gave him, like he thought Sousuke was just going to fuck into him again without warning. "I am," he said, sliding his fingers through Rin's hair, tenderly curling a few strands with reverence.


End file.
